"Wives, be submissive to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they become discouraged." Colossians 3:18-21
Today we'll take a look at the next verse in this short passage. Colossians 3:19 is addressed directly to ...
"Husbands ..."
The command to husbands has two distinct parts. The first part is "love your wives." This phrase may sound a bit peculiar at first. Love their wives? Isn't that just a given, we might ask? But, if we look a little more into this kind of love, we'll see that it isn't just any ordinary sort of thing. The HCSB Study Bible suggests that this love "refers to selfless sacrificial concern and care for the welfare of another person." This is the kind of love that Paul talks about in Ephesians 5:25-28: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." (emphasis mine) Paul encourages husbands to love their wives by using the example of Perfect Love - Jesus came to earth to die on the cross for His bride, the Church, because He loved her so much! He was willing to lay down His life sacrificially for His Bride, just as a husband must for his wife.
Now, let's keep in mind that we're sinful humans, so it is impossible for us to love in the same way Christ did. So, though we can never model perfect love ourselves, we can still rejoice in Christ's perfect love for us, and try to emulate it.
The second part of this command to husbands is to "not be bitter toward" their wives. This is another phrase that, on the surface, may seem a bit puzzling. Well, I was curious as to that word "bitter," so I went and looked up this verse in a couple different translations. The ESV translates the word as "harsh." The NASB says "embittered against." These help us understand this verse's meaning a little bit better. Husbands are not to be bitter, or harsh, to their wives. The ESV Student Study Bible says in regards to this: "Violence, threats, and unkind words are not acceptable in a Christian home." That is certainly true. Husbands are to be the spiritual leader in a home, and an example to others. Harshness, bitterness, violence, and unkindness are all to be exempt from the husband-wife relationship.
So there's the second role of the family as defined by Paul in Colossians. Next, we'll look at verse 20 and what Paul says about children!
Now, let's keep in mind that we're sinful humans, so it is impossible for us to love in the same way Christ did. So, though we can never model perfect love ourselves, we can still rejoice in Christ's perfect love for us, and try to emulate it.
The second part of this command to husbands is to "not be bitter toward" their wives. This is another phrase that, on the surface, may seem a bit puzzling. Well, I was curious as to that word "bitter," so I went and looked up this verse in a couple different translations. The ESV translates the word as "harsh." The NASB says "embittered against." These help us understand this verse's meaning a little bit better. Husbands are not to be bitter, or harsh, to their wives. The ESV Student Study Bible says in regards to this: "Violence, threats, and unkind words are not acceptable in a Christian home." That is certainly true. Husbands are to be the spiritual leader in a home, and an example to others. Harshness, bitterness, violence, and unkindness are all to be exempt from the husband-wife relationship.
So there's the second role of the family as defined by Paul in Colossians. Next, we'll look at verse 20 and what Paul says about children!