So you didn't think being obsessed was the only confession I had to make, did you? Today I have another confession for you, one you may be able to relate to. I am ... duh-duh-duh ... a people pleaser. And I don't think I'm the only one.
From what I hear, most people like to be liked. That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. But wanting to be liked is only one step away from being a people pleaser.
So what exactly is people pleasing, you might ask? Well for that definition I defer you to the Lies Young Women Believe blog. They wisely write,
"It's making choices based on either:
a) impressing other people.
b) avoiding disappointing other people."
The problem with being a people pleaser is that it's rooted in sin. People pleasing is driven by being more concerned about what people think than what God thinks. We fear man more than God. And that fear of man is born out of underlying pride. The reason I don't want to disappoint other people is because I want me to look good. I want people to always be happy with me, proud of me, impressed with me. We people pleasers are apt to think of ourselves as being humble because we're constantly concerned with everyone else. But what we really mean is that we're more concerned with making everyone else feed our ego.
As BJ Stockman writes:
"To make your personal mission being liked by everyone in the world sets you up for a life of frustration and depression. You will end up living your life based upon others expectations and your discernment on what is right and wrong will fly out the window as the litmus test of everything becomes what will and will not make this or that person happy. The goal of life is not to be liked."How true. And thank goodness our identity is not wrapped up in who does or doesn't like us. It's wrapped up not in the fickle pleasing of man. It's wrapped up in our Creator and Saviour, our Heavenly Father. And so we need to become God pleasers - people who obsess over what God thinks, insistent on obeying every one of His commands, grieving when we anger Him. And the wonderful thing about God is that even when we do fall short of pleasing Him (which we will), His opinion of us won't change. We are still sinners saved by grace, children of God adopted into His family, and He will forgive us and love us forever.
"God loves you with Jesus-sized love. Knowing and experiencing this love is human wholeness and brings radical freedom. It frees you from the desire to be liked, and imparts the experience of being loved by the Creator of the universe forever. It’s not that important to be well liked, but it is eternally important to be in the favor of God." ~ BJ Stockman