Scared of Death

During Wednesday's Sytematic Theology class, our subject was on death, not a light or easy thing to understand. After the lesson, Dad assigned us to read a selection of Scripture passages based on the statement: "As Christians, we should not think of our own death with fear but with joy at the prospect of going to be with Christ" and to write a short paper on it. I wrote my paper yesterday and when Dad read it, he thought it might be good to share here. This isn't something I would normally write, but as I read the Scriptures and thought about my understanding of death, this is what I realized I believe:

I am scared of death, my death and the death of those I love. I wish I could say as strongly as Paul that "I am persuaded that not even death or life ... has the power to separate us from the love of God." I wish I could say that "my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." I wish I had no fear of death, only confidence in Christ's victory.

But I don't.

And the reason I don't is because I'm too comfortable here, in the temporary now. I've made this life an idol and have been too earthly-focused to be heavenly-minded. If I properly understood the glory, purity, beauty, perfection, joy, wonder and utter awesomeness of heaven, I wouldn't be afraid of death. Yet, again, I don't. I've become too wrapped up in the here and now to remember that this is not my home.

I hope one day that I'm not afraid of death. I may still fear its sting, but I want to become so enraptured and obsessed with heaven that this life becomes only a shadow, and the knowledge that true joy is coming becomes my aim. So then I can sing and say and believe and live with all confidence,

"Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"