"Likewise also [I desire] that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."
Now I'll admit, I've read this passage many a time, but what really stuck out to me this time was the connection between modesty and self-control. Right in verse nine, Paul desires that women should dress "in respectable apparel" and then he explains what that means - "with modesty and self-control." What I find interesting about those two things is how they are so tightly bound together. For example, you can't have modesty without self-control - to be modest is to be self-controlled. But you can't have self-control without modesty - if you are self-controlled you will also be modest. Yet here we are at the age-old question, "What is modesty?" And then, in the same vein, "What is self-control?" Let's take a brief look.
Modesty
The dictionary defines modesty as "to have or show regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc." So modesty does not just relate to clothing (though that is a big part). It also relates to how we act and what we say. But modesty in speech and action will quickly leak into how we dress as well. Now I'm not going to give you a neat little document telling you exactly what clothing I think is modest, what stores you should or should not shop at, what brand of bathing suit you should buy, or how low your neckline should be. That's not something I can decide for you. In a post on modesty I wrote a few months ago, I pointed out that as Christians, the biblical requirements for our clothes are that we should dress to reflect our inner beauty (1 Peter 3:3-4), encourage our brothers in the faith (1 Thessalonians 5:11), and, most importantly, exalt Christ. (1 Corinthians 10:31) So if your clothes do that, then you are certainly modest. (For a modesty checklist that takes a more practical look at your clothing, have a read of Carolyn Mahaney's Modesty Checklist.)
Self-Control
But as I've already mentioned, modesty and self-control are so interweaved, you can't have one without the other. As to the definition of self-control, it's pretty self-explanatory. It's control of self. If you have self-control, you know how to control your emotions, desires, senses, actions and ... yes, clothing. In the eleven times self-control is mentioned in the Bible, it is always exalted or praised. Someone who has self-control is considered wise and discerning. (Proverbs 25:28) So let's seek to cultivate a spirit of self-control. (1 Timothy 1:7)
So, this summer, whether we go to the mall to buy a bathing suit or if we're off to the beach, let's think about the way we dress, the message we give through our clothing, and decide if we're really dressing with modesty and self-control.