Fun

Your Saturday Smile: The Worst of the Worst Edition

Here is a roundup of some of the worst (read: corniest) jokes out there:

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A.  I think I'm coming down with something.

 Q. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A. SUPPLIES!

Q. Did you hear about the robbery last night?
A. Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants. 

 Q. Why do Eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
A. Because it's too cold out-tide.

 Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B. 

 Q. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A. She will let it go.

 Q. David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and . . .?
A. David.

 Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them. 

 Q. Does your shirt have holes in it?
A. No? Then how did you put it on?

Passed!

I did it. I passed my driver's test! Cue collective sigh of relief and simultaneous scream of excitement. I am officially on the road. Yes, it's only a learner's license, but I am ready to learn! It's pretty exciting to get behind the wheel of a car. Pretty scary too. Going past 20 kilometres an hour is still a little too speedy for me. Then again, I've only driven for about half an hour - total. Driving is going to teach me a lot, I think. About patience. About safety. About kindness. About law. God is good, and I certainly look forward to this new adventure we call driving!

Reflections on Amazing Wonders: Day 1

Today was Day #1 of my church's annual Vacation Bible School (VBS). The theme this year is Amazing Wonders Aviation: Encountering God's Awesome Power. The kids get to hop on this old 20's bi-plane and travel to the wonders of the world - the Matterhorn, Victoria Falls, the Grand Canyon, Paracutin Volcano and Great Barrier Reef. Today was great! Fun, crazy and definitely a fantastic start to what looks to be an amazing week. Here's some pics from the day:

(Our welcome sign in the Worship Centre.)

(Ms. Carla - who I lead music with this year - and me rocking out to "Remarkable.")

(There's some intense competition going on over at these games!)

(More dancing and singing!)

(No, I'm not pretending to be a goal post, honest! Just dancing. As always.)

(Our incredible replica of the Paracutin Volcano made by my grandpa. Cool, huh?)

(Here are me, Ms. Carla, and Pastor Matthew dancing to "A-M-A-Z-I-N-G," our 1920's swing song!)

(Another replica made by Grandpa - this time of the Matterhorn.) 

(Welcome to the Great Barrier Reef ... or the church basement.)

(Making some cool crafts!)

(Yes, and now the thing you've all been waiting for ... the eight by ten foot plane built by - yep, you guessed it ... our creative and skilled decoration builder, Grandpa!)

Your Saturday Smile

Here are some springy jokes to brighten your day! Enjoy!

1) A mother has four children. Their names are Summer, Winter, Fall, and ...? Mary, of course.

2) Can bees fly in the rain? Not without their little yellow jackets.

3) What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lily!

4) Can February March? No, but April May.

5) Why did the bird go to the hospital? It needed tweetment.

The Lord's Trying to Tell Me Something

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a Daddy's Daughter on our culture's obsession with death, which began to convict me, as I spent a lot of time with Agatha Christie and Murder, She Wrote. I think the Lord was trying to tell me something. 

Then, I watched a movie based on an Agatha Christie novel. In the movie and the book, the victim was poisoned by her bedside water, and the image disturbed me. I conjured up the image of the victim dying every time I took a sip of my bedside water. I think the Lord was trying to tell me something.

Then the Lord took a more direct approach. I had watched an episode of Murder, She Wrote two weeks ago and then spent about half an hour reading my latest Agatha Christie novel before bed. I got to sleep easily and slept smoothly. Until the dream, that is. The dream in itself wasn't too odd; I simply made a drink. I don't remember what it was. Chocolate milk or lemon water or something. Then I woke up. Nothing too strange going on, yet. My throat was feeling a bit parched by now, so I reached over to my night table, where my glass of water sat. I picked it up and was about to take a drink (again hoping that it wasn't poisoned), when the smell assaulted my nostrils. It was then that I looked into my water glass. Thick, creamy gunk swirled through my water. Poison?!?!? Yes! In the middle of the night, while I was sleeping, that drink I was mixing in my dream was real. I got up and squirted half of my bottle of hand cream into my water glass! I think I knew the Lord was trying to tell me something.

By now, I was growing more convicted and decided that I needed to ease up on the murder. So last Monday, I told myself that I wasn't going to watch Murder, She Wrote ... I would just take a peek at what the episode was about. But what to my wondering eyes did appear, not Murder, She Wrote, but Heartland. "Stupid horse show," I muttered, assuming that Heartland would take Murder, She Wrote's place tonight and tonight alone. But as I scrolled through the following days' listings, there was no murder to be found. I dropped the remote, panic coursing through my veins and raced to my bedroom, where I flipped open my laptop and searched the t.v. station's website. And there it was - a nice, little, blue notice, announcing that as of May 30 (the day that it happened to be), Murder, She Wrote would be off-air and replaced by Heartland. I think the Lord was trying to tell me something.

I felt deflated. How could this be? My favourite show - gone? But then, I started to laugh. It hit me so strongly and suddenly, I felt as if the Lord had grabbed me by the shoulders and was shaking me. He knew that I wasn't strong enough to give up murder mysteries on my own, so He helped me out.

Yes, the Lord is trying to tell me something ... and I think I'm starting to get it.

Bay of FUN-dy

Yesterday, after the church service, Dad, Mom, Travis, Grandpa and I headed down to a cottage on the Bay of Fundy. To see what my dad got out of the trip, you can check out here. The day was really incredible! One thing that was so amazing was the way everything worked. I mean, take the tides for instance. Look at two pictures of the same boat, one at high tide and one at low tide.

High tide

Low tide

There's only six hours between the two tides! How amazing is that?

Or take the little waterfall rushing over the cliff, just twenty feet away from the edge of the water (it's twenty feet away from the water at low tide; at high tide, the waterfall falls right into the ocean). The waterfall has nearly two dozen tiny, intricate paths flowing right through the rocks and into the ocean. How cool is that?

Or look at the little church on the cliff.


Do you think that cliff could support all those buildings and hundreds of trees? But it does!

All of this, the tides, the waterfall, and the cliff are all working smoothly, together. I mean, if the cliff collapsed, the waterfall would fall with it. If the tide always remained at high tide, you could never even see the waterfall. It's so intricate, so designed. I don't know evolutionists or atheists look at something like this and say, "There's no God." This is like a painting, a beautiful work of art. People don't look a that painting and say, "There's no artist."

The Bay of Fundy testifies to God's existence. It's almost impossible to look at something like this and ignore God. You can feel God's hand at work. You can know for sure that only God could create something so beautiful, so intricate, so magnificent as the Bay of Fundy.

"Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created." -- Revelation 4:11

Oh, How Quickly Things Can Change

It's true. For instance . . .

A couple of days ago, my brother, Travis, and I had sat down at about 9 o'clock to do school work. We worked for about an hour, doing English, History, and part of Math. We had a lot of work to do, and we were feeling kind of bogged down. Suddenly Mom came into the dining room and said, "All right, close your books, get a warm jacket and gloves on, and get into the car. School's canceled for the day." Any quizzes and reviews we had that day were also canceled. We then drove up to Peggy's Cove and spent the morning there. After that we went exploring around a place called Tantallon, and to the library, and out to lunch. Oh, how quickly things can change!

It was all a difference in attitude. One minute, we're kind of glum from loads of school work, and the next, we're bouncing around in excitement. God wants us to be cheerful and happy and excited all the time. He tells us in . . .

Proverbs 15:13- "A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed."

Proverbs 15:15- "All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast."

Romans 12:6-8: "Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

God loves us so much, that He wants us to be cheerful in Him. Of course, we aren't always bouncing around in sheer joy. We're gonna get worried, down, stressed, tired, angry, upset, melancholy (isn't that a fun word!), and tearful, but God still wants us to try and be cheerful. That can be downright hard, though. That's why we need to lean on the Lord. We need to pray for a cheerful disposition.

Analogy Hour: Cats in Hats

Happy New Year, readers! The year 2010 is upon us. What do you do when you start a new year? I get a new calendar. Last year I got a Thomas Kinkade one. This year I got a . . . wait for it . . . Cats In Hats calendar! The calendar features 12 different cats, each one wearing a different hat. That got me thinking . . . .

When we put hats on our cats, are they happy about it? 9 out of 10 times, no! They try to push it off and try to prove that you can't be their boss. Even if we put beautiful fruit basket hats or diamond embedded caps on them, they still try to squirm out of them. Isn't that kind of like us and God? God gives us beautiful gifts like salvation, His Word, communication with Him, fellowship with His believers. Sometimes, though, we push away those gifts because we want to prove that we can make our own decisions and that we don't need Him to be our owner.

Let's let God be our Owner, King, Lord, and Lifelong Ruler.

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